1. Your past doesn't define you. You may have been hurt, it doesn’t mean your future is doomed or you’ll never see the light again.
2. Being alone is better than being around the wrong people.
3. Empathy is not about feeling sorry for the person or denying, minimising or correcting their experiences, but it’s about being able to hold your judgement and see the situation from someone else’s perspective.
4. Never come back to people who have hurt you or emotionally drain you simply because you’re lonely. You’ll only end up being hurt even more.
5. Negative emotions (e.g. sadness, anger, loneliness) are a message, not something you should ignore. Ignoring and dismissing them only makes the situation worse. For example, if you’re feeling lonely, it may be a sign you may be lacking human connection or close relationships.
6. Never assume other people have it easy simply because they seem to have things going well on the surface. They may be hiding a struggle.
7. You can’t change the people around you, but you can change the people around you.
(You can’t control people’s actions, but you can always choose which people you want to associate yourself with.)
8. Saying no to frivolous things is saying yes to yourself and your needs, one of the most important forms of self-care.
9. If you feel you don’t fit in, it’s not because you’re flawed. It is because humans are wired differently, so do remember that there is somewhere you feel you belong, and you will find it. The most important thing is to stay true to your authentic self. In a similar vein, you wouldn’t alter the size of your foot to fit a certain shoe; you’d get a different size or cutting.
10. If you deviate from your authentic self, you will risk losing the people who truly matter.
11. If you want others to treat you a certain way, treat them that way first.
12. Good things and wholesome change don’t happen overnight. Sometimes, it may even take a few years.
13. Time doesn’t help if you don’t use it wisely. For example, if you meet a group of friends every week but never have meaningful or authentic interactions, you will likely still feel lonely around them.
14. Trying too hard does a lot of damage.
15. Social media has the power to uplift you, if you use it in the right way. What might help is muting or unfollowing pages that make you feel drained and customising your feed to see more wholesome and uplifting content.
16. Just because something has worked out or helped someone, doesn’t mean it’ll help everyone.
17. Silence can be underrated. It allows us to listen and understand each other when we aren’t talking. Talking less may be a good thing, because this may mean we are good listeners or want to avoid frivolous talk.
18. Fame is overrated. Celebrities are pressurised to always look like they’re at their best and criticised by the media and haters for every tiny mistake they make. As such, it isn’t uncommon to see celebrities experiencing mental health issues.
19. Making excuses for people’s inconsiderate behaviour will mean you’re settling for less. It’s a lose-lose situation, and it’s better to move on.
20. A few strong, close friendships can significantly improve your mental well-being.
21. While many people may have told us to treat others how we want to be treated, we sometimes say things to ourselves we wouldn’t dare to say to others. Hence, we may need to treat ourselves like how we’d treat a loved one at times.
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