Social media is a powerful tool today.
There's so much going on on social media; surely it could make us more connected with the world and more in tune with what's going on in our friends' lives.
Ironically, it has resulted in greater rates of depression and loneliness.
How and why?
Since people have the power to choose what they want to post, they will naturally post the good things and leave out the bad.
As such, people will compare their lives to all the curated content on social media. When that happens, it's obvious that the lives that people are living aren't as good as the lives of others on social media.
That's because social media does not usually represent people's lives accurately, and only showcases the
positive side. The negative side is swept under the carpet.
I, too, have been a slave to social media at times. Seeing my friends seemingly having fun on their Instagram stories (Insta-stories) would make me feel jealous, empty and lonely, and I would get the impression that they were leading better lives than me. I also enjoyed seeing the number of likes grow every time I posted something, especially when a few specific people liked my posts. Comments were also something that gave me joy, because I felt liked and noticed and that I fit in well. When I didn't get the desired number of likes or comments, I'd feel disappointed because I'd think I didn't have a good social life.
However, is social media really as rosy as it seems to be?
The truth is ironic, yet unsurprising. Research has shown that the more discontented people are with their lives, the happier their posts on social media appear.
An interesting study was when Tracy Clayton, host of the BuzzFeed podcast Another Round, posted a tweet that asked users to share a photo they posted on social media when they were having a difficult time in life but looked perfectly fine.
The tweet sparked off a flurry of responses, with people sharing posts they took that included vacation snaps, family portraits and glamorous selfies, among others. Some of them were even at events where we would expect people to be happy, such as weddings and holidays. However, behind the photo lay a really sad soul and those who shared admitted that they struggled with negative emotions when they posted, such as depression.
So what does this tell us about social media?
It can be an unhealthy outlet for people to post pictures that do not accurately reflect their lives just to give themselves a false sense of security. In fact, having more followers, comments and likes doesn't necessarily make one a better or happier person.
Interestingly, studies show that happier couples tend to post less on social media because they feel secure over their relationships and lives, and hence do not need validation from likes or comments on social media to feel good about their relationship. In short, they do not see the need to post to convince others to convince themselves. Moreover, if they are truly happy, they are less likely to be distracted by social media and as such don't see the need to post.
On the other hand, if couples are insecure about their relationship, they will tend to post more because they want the likes and comments that make them feel good about their relationship and possibly make others feel jealous. The acknowledgement from others is what makes them feel less insecure, albeit only in the short-run.
This study doesn't just apply to couples; it applies to how people like us feel about our everyday lives. The way the mind works is similar; if people are unhappy about their lives, they will feel the urge to post because to them, the likes and comments will give them a sense of security and make them feel that their lives are better than others. However, they fail to realise that this sense of security is short-term and false. I myself have been guilty of that; there was one point in my first year in Junior College (JC) that I took countless Snapchat videos of me having lunch with my classmates because I was insecure over my friendships and felt that everyone had better and closer friends than me, and I wanted to feel like I fitted in well and had a good social life. Needless to say, I think what I did was quite foolish and I have deleted Snapchat and never looked back.
Hence, we should not be fooled by what we see on social media and always remind ourselves that it is not necessarily an accurate reflection of people's lives. Some people may think that others are so much happier and better off than us just because they have happier posts or more likes, but in reality they aren't. It isn't a yardstick to measure who is living the best life, hence we should not use social media to compare our lives to that of others. It's also important to ask ourselves if the people who like our posts actually show us kindness and love in real life, or are they just mindlessly double-tapping for the sake of double-tapping?
Social media may seem like a horrible thing that makes people feel lonely, miserable and frustrated.
Nonetheless, it can be a positive thing too if used in the right way.
To start off, we can try to be more honest about our lives rather than just posting all those selfies, OOTDs and seemingly high times with friends. We often cover up a lot of minute details that we dislike about ourselves and the way we look. Being honest and not trying to cover up the imperfections in life would naturally attract like-minded people and for all you know, people may like the imperfect pictures too!
On top of posting pictures of me having fun with my friends, I try to post motivational quotes on my Insta-story or share them on Facebook. These quotes can really make my day and improve my mood, and I believe that if others see these quotes, the quotes can make their day as well.
Social media can indeed be a good platform to showcase your real life and encourage others to be brave and achieve their goals in life, rather than just post all the typical stuff like selfies and OOTDs that can get really superficial and overrated after some time, and possibly breed a culture of jealousy.
We can also be more transparent on social media. The world can be a harsh place and everyone struggles at some point in their lives, but these struggles can unite rather than divide us if people were frank about it. For example, Alece Ronzino's blog about the painful parts of her story encouraged many people to stop and listen, and these posts touched their hearts.
It's this raw honesty that gives us hope in life. They make us feel that we're not alone in our struggles and that someone understands what we're going through. The struggles that two people went through may be different, but the very fact that both of them went through struggles can make them be able to relate to each other in terms of the negative emotions of dejection, loneliness and hopelessness.
Zooming out to the community, there has been some stories about social media unifying people in supporting certain people or causes. In 2013, there was a Make-A-Wish event held when a boy named Miles Scott who was suffering from leukaemia had a wish to be Batkid.
Intensive efforts were made to ensure that Miles's dream could come through. The city was set up to save Gotham. Many volunteers and actors were recruited to play the role of Batman characters.
When one of the volunteers posted about Miles's story on social media, it spread across the United States, and even across the world. Many people turned up to support Miles on his big day, and he and his father were touched by how people unified to support Miles, and there was nothing but happiness for them.
Without the media, there would not have been hundreds of new volunteers and donations for Make-A-Wish Foundation. Best of all, Miles is now cancer free.
Social media is not entirely divisive. It can be used to unite people and even make someone's day. We may not be able to do big things, but we can share some personal stories about our struggles or even little quotes we see. For all you know, that can make someone's day. It's amazing to see how small things can have a huge impact. More importantly, we should not try too hard to conceal every minute negative detail about our lives, because perfection will never exist. We just have to embrace our imperfections about our image. There's nothing to be ashamed of messy hair, old clothes, ugly skin or not donning any make-up.
At the end of the day, it starts from all of us to create a healthier culture on social media. We can start by being more genuine or trying to share positive vibes, and not just the typical stuff. However, there will always be those posts that put us off, so we must always remind ourselves that what we see on social media is not necessarily what goes on in real life and not use it to compare our lives to others' lives. After all, we're all different and meant to have our own story, not copy others' stories.
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